...... of Y S ' leather belt.

S
One strange thing about men when it comes to fashion is that most of us really do not care. Of course, there is a sizable fast lane and cool male homosapiens who move with fashion. The majority, Yours Sincerely ( Y S ) thinks , does not bother about the changing trends in clothes, shoes , hair-styles and other accessories like watches, glasses, belts, wallets etc. ( Besides, cars, of course) If they are caught with the latest fashion, it is because their favorites are already out of production ! One good example is glasses frames. You have to move on. The opticians do not stock old models.

This morning Y S took a hard look at his aging leather belt, a "Mustang" which gave way due to leather fatigue. It is about 18 years old !!! ( Y S pities the factory that makes good belts like this and wonders how it could survive, making such long lasting good quality product!!! ) It was bought in 1990s when Y S looked good in blue faded jeans but not now. The belt stays on with Y S' other pants because it simply refused to "break down" so that was no good reason why it should be discarded. Moreover, as the years rolled by it gathered lots of sentimental value. It had gone on globe trotting with Y S and its metal buckle had triggered many a security censor at the various airports Y S passed through and was ogled at by many an immigration offer.

A strange about fashion is that to the male homo sapiens, we are proud and we show off our long lasting things. Shirts that last a decade. Pants that are still wearable after 10 years. Shoes that do not seem to wear off, 5 solid years and are still good. Wallets that seem to last an eternity.

I don't think the fairer sex would parade such possessions. More often than not, their desire is to make known that whatever they adorn and use are the latest. The more sophisticated would not even shop at sales, fearing to be seen in their duplicates. For this reason, owners of boutiques are laughing their way to the bank.

Even to be seen in the same dress for another function is a disaster ! Not even in the same dress as their fellow colleague. There was an occasion when a collegue rushed home to change her clothes because another colleague adorned the same fashion of dress and in the same colour. She swore not to buy at sales anymore. It is a taboo !!!

Coming back to Y S' belt, Y S thinks it needs to be taken to the cobbler to be given some stitches here and there and a new lease of life.

They don't make things to last anymore these days.

......... of idiots in abundance

This is a news report from The Star of 24th June 2011:-

" In an unrelated case, several people in the state had fallen victim to a 4-D scam purportedly run by Indonesians.

It is learnt the foreigners would go around the city showing their victims what were supposed to be winning lottery tickets and offering these for sale at a much lower price.

Claiming that they could not redeem the tickets because they did not have valid documents, the foreigners would even ask for jewellery or other valuables in exchange.

In a recent case, a cook in his 20s, lost almost RM16,000 to such a syndicate, which had offered him a “winning” lottery ticket for RM80,000.

The cook, who met the foreigner along Jalan Wong Ah Fook, only realised that he had been cheated when he went to claim his prize money and was told that the tickets were fake.

Police confirmed they had received reports on both cases. "

On and off Yours Sincerely ( Y S ) reads and scoffs at such news. This is the new millennium and the "Cyber Age" and yet we have people walking around with cave man brain, thinking that it is that easy to make a fast buck these days.

Y S was brought up by his "China man immigrant father who came to this glorious land with only two changes of clothes" that life has absolutely NO freebies or free lunches ( Besides at the Salvation Army, and even there if you eat for too long your soul will be salvaged.) This adage has been imprinted in Y S ' children. Hard work, grit, grime and sweat, and brain is the surest way.

Even in Y S ' "city" of Alor Star, he has been approached and offered "ROLEX" watches for half price ! Singapore dollars for a rebate of 20 to 40 % below market rate! Mercedes for 40% below market value! Well, if even a million is brought to the foot step of Y S' humble home for FREE, Y S would doubt the intention. It is better to be a million ringgit poorer than to have a million sleepless nights and troubles!!!

The world seems to have a good number of idiots, and the other half of people clever enough to take advantage of them. Never underestimate the power of human stupidity. Nothing in this world is more dangerous than conscientious stupidity. They say that only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and Albert Einstein is unsure about the former and so is Y S.

The bottom line of all is, of course, GREED. The rich wants to become richer, and the richer want to be the richest. And the richest want some more and some more, failing to know that finally all that one needs is " 6 x 6 x 4 " underground. The first emperor of China, Shih Huang Ti, of course, had a super large tomb. See what happens? Until today archeologists do not let him rest him peace. They are digging and digging into his tomb. Do you think he can rest in peace? For that matter, not even the Great Pharaohs of Egypt !!!

"Nothing is enough for the man for whom enough is so little." Epicurus. And the most grievous kind of destitution is to want more money in the midst of wealth.

To the cook who lost his RM16.000, we can only ask him to "Go and fly kite" !!!

What say you?

........ of punctuality

Your Sincerely ( Y S ) has been preoccupied with punctuality and being punctual for almost all his life, and for 36 years of his working life, HE WAS NEVER LATE FOR WORK !!! However, there was no citation for this when he retired. " The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it " ( Franklin Jones) Very few people seem to bother about the quality or habit of adhering to an appointed time. "Laugh and the world laughs with you, be prompt and you dine alone" (Gerald Barzan) Y S is not referring to the occasional lateness due to unforeseen circumstances but the habitual practice of being late due to lack of concern of being on time.

Have you observed that the Chinese wedding dinner reception never start on time. It is at least half an hour late, even though it is held at posh hotels where you can expect more polished guests ? Notwithstanding those held at clan and association or temple halls can be behind time for as much as an hour !!! Being a Chinese course dinner, everyone has to be seated before the serving can start. It is unlike the Malay "Kenduri (Wedding feast) buffet where the lunch hours is stretched very thin from 12 noon to as late as 6 p.m. Perhaps this is more practical, guests can pop in and out at anytime. Well, you can even pop in twice, one for lunch and another one for early dinner . LOL

What irks Y S more is that the late comers are not frown upon. It is accepted like a norm. The host seems to condone the late comers as if they are V.I.Ps. At Chinese wedding dinners some tables are reserved for them. They seem to get preferential treatment in full view of the punctual ones. Even in churches, habitual late comers park their vehicles indiscriminately and are lovingly ushered to vacant pews like V.I.Ps, and when the mass / service is over, they are the last to come out of the church. Thus, their vehicles block others.

In school, we have school prefects who have to sacrifice their lessons to wait at the school gate to "welcome" and record the names of the late comers. Some come to school on their own vehicles. And these late comers have no urgency. They stroll leisurely into the classes, interrupting the lessons.

I think the only time people are punctual is when they have to check into "Air Asia" counter at the airport. The one-hour check-in procedure has no compromise ! Another instance of real punctuality being practised in Malaysia that Y S observes is at the banks when new issue of "Amanah Saham Malaysia" ( Malaysia Trust Fund that promises good returns) are released. Some are overtly punctual and can queue at the bank door before dawn !!! Talking about banks, try to repay your bank loan by a day late and see what happens?

Lack of punctuality is a theft of someone else's time. Lack of punctuality is also the lack of respect for others. Y S has always made is a point to be at least 15 to 30 minute early for appointments, lunch, dinner, golf etc etc etc To be punctual is a decision. Get up earlier. Get off earlier. Get started faster. Of course, it is better late than never, but better never late is even better. " I have always been a quarter of an hour before my time, and it has made a man of me. " Lords Nelson.

Of course, the traffic always gets the blamed for causing unpunctuality, and when it rains then the weather gets the blame. Sometimes, it is the alarm clock but most of the time traffic jams. Y S has yet to come across a late comer who blames himself :-

" Oh, It is my fault. I dilly dally."
" I'm sorry. I'm a tardy person."
" Oh, I woke up and then went to sleep again."
" I dilly dally and started late."

Punctuality is a decision. When you decide to be punctual, you will think of ways and means to be punctual. What do you think?

...... of the Chinese wedding tea offering ceremony

Yours Sincerely ( Y S ) received several wedding invitations this June. June, the even month, could be an auspicious month and it also coincides with the two- week school mid-year holidays. So, couples take the golden opportunity to tie their matrimony knots. Y S is always happy to be present for wedding ceremony and reception. It is time to meet family members, nephews, nieces, grand nephews and nieces, relatives and also friends.

It is also interesting to see how people compare notes when they meet. Some flatter each other on their youthful looks although the faces are covered in layers of Avon, SK II, Max Factor, Clinique etc etc. Others brag about the achievements of their children. " My so and so son/daughter is earning USD doing this and doing that." Some showcase the abilities of their grandchildren being able to read at aged 3, recite the alphabets at aged 3.2 etc etc, short of praising their DNA. A few delight in displaying their expensive apparels bought from S K Tan, Mid-Valley Mega mall or their Coach Handbags bought in N. York. The list is unending. It can be quite amusing to Y S who has nothing to brag about besides his travels. (Perhaps to the other party this is also bragging. LOL )

Y S approves the Chinese wedding tea offering ceremony and believes that this is a good tradition to continue. To the uninitiated, at this ceremony the bride and groom would offer a cup of tea to family members and relatives, according to seniority hierarchy. While the tea is being offered , the person concerned is introduced to the newly married couple.

Take for example, Y S is number five in the family hierarchy after my three sisters and one brother so my turn for the ceremony comes fifth. The mistress of ceremony who is usually an elderly and chatty person would introduce, " This is your second grand uncle and Aunty." The couple would respond, " Second Grand Uncle and Aunty please drink tea." The tea in special tea cups is offered to the person concerned.

After sipping the tea, the recipient is supposed to offer a cash gift in a red packet called "Angpow." This is a good practice for the cash gift would serve the newly wedded couple well. The amount depends on the person.

However, there are some "cheap skate" siblings and relatives who put in a small amount of cash and in this case they would not write their names on the "angpow" and hope hard that it would somehow get disguised among other "angpows."

In this way, the newly wedded is introduced to all the clan.

Good tradition should be preserved.

...of "until death do we part."

Yours Sincerely counted lately and solemnly realised that a good number of his acquaintances and friends have lost their spouses to all sort of illnesses and mishaps. Strangely but surely, the males seem to go first than the females who are left to grieve for their beloved, except for a few widowers Y S knows.

One particular widower, a fellow Catholic, so grieves for his spouse that he decides not to stay in his shop house and has asked Y S to look for a room to rent for him. He only wishes to go to his shop house for his day business as a tailor. Night time is too much for him to bear his lonesomeness. He confided in Y S that his lunch used to be hot and deliciously served at 12 noon daily, but now he eats takeaways from stalls and shops as late as 2 or 3 pm. There were times when he scolded his spouse for serving him late lunch, but now he has to content to very late lunches, and most of the time he has no appetite. Pitiful !

Y S' friend rented a room in another widower's house and he confided in Y S that his landlord, a quiet fella, used to wake up in the wee hours of the morning and weeps, pinning for his departed spouse. There is no grief like the grief that does not speak . Eerie, eh!

There was another one Y S used to see at Jalan Sultanah Catholic Cemetery who stood in front of his wife's grave every morning, AT THE SAME TIME, rain OR shine. More eerie !!! He had already joined his spouse, in heaven, I pray.

During Y S' last trip to Kota Bahru, he stayed with his golfer's friend who also had recently lost his spouse. He confided in Y S that the memory of his late wife is very strongly present in all the things in the house. They were married for at least 40 years ! Too long to forget each other. On the 7th day of her demise, he felt her presence at home and "she even locked him out of his bedroom" Spooky ! And on their trip to collect her urn, they could smell her favourite medicated oil in the car they were traveling in. More spooky!

In this world nothing is so sure as death and taxes, but people do not want to think about it, least make preparation for it like the Great Pharaohs. It is a taboo. Death only happens to others until they themselves are struck down six feet underground.

Spouses should learn to carry on and live on their own. For that reason, Y S is now operating the gas cooker, micro wave, washing machine etc etc etc, learning to live alone. Similarly the Better Half is encouraged to source out her own circle of friends ( good, respectable, caring and dependable ones but NOT the free loaders !) and she should keep driving so that she is mobile.

In the event of finality, Y S believes that the one who is called first is the blessed one for he/she leaves behind people to grieve for him/her. The left behind spouse should be able to carry on and not to be so devastated, helpless, broken and paralyzed.

Many selfish spouses, especially females, make their spouses solemnly promise not to remarry after their demise to the extent of promising to come back to haunt them if they do. And many self-centred children frown on the remarry of their widower fathers, and especially widowed mothers. Well, if they so desire and if there is an opportunity what is wrong with remarrying since the marriage contract explicitly states that " UNTIL DEATH DO WE PART."

The world does not need another Taj Mahal ( Mausoleum built by an over faithful husband, Shah Jahan, for his beloved wife.) What do you think?

.... of grandpa and gandma

Yours Sincerely ( Y S ) was back at his hometown to attend a niece's wedding. So, it was also time to meet his kith and kins and friends. A very common inquiry in the midst of conversation in the company of these people is : " When are you becoming a grandfather? " It was quite sometime ago when Y S was asked, "When are you becoming a father?" To the latter question Y S could easily answer because he and the better half were responsible for the whole situation , but certainly not the former question. How is Y S going to know? How is Y S able to
know? What can Y S do??? It is out of Y S' jurisdiction!

To Y S' generation, those with married children, having grand children seems to be another important milestone in their lives after educating their children and sending off to universities. Many have exchanged their sunset years of relaxation and living our their dreams to repeating the changing of diapers, picking up after the child, making milk in the wee hours of the morning and baby sitting. A couple Y S knows once left the comfort of their home and familiarities to squat in a one room apartment overseas to help out baby sitting for their son. All these were done in the name of sacrifice. Y S only hopes that the children truly appreciate such sacrifice.

Nearer home, another MALE former colleague has practically turned back the clock of his life to baby sit for his daughter. He has shut himself from his friends and the activities he once loved to do. and devoted all his time to the granddaughter. Somehow he has turned himself into a wet nurse and nanny.

Meeting him once at Taman Lam Sun, he was pillion riding his granddaughter on a bicycle and he stopped to talk to Y S. He bored Y S to near death with tales about his granddaughter's achievements, the best baby formula, methods to arm up milk etc etc etc. Before Y S bade farewell, he coaxed his granddaughter to say, " Goodbye uncle." Somehow the small kid chickened out and there was deep disappointment on his face. Y S assured him not to worry the kid could say but was shy.

Children are, of course, the natural consequence of a marriage. However, they do not necessary come naturally. There are many who just cannot have children. There are also many who do not want children. Whatever the reason is, parents cannot be held responsible for the issue. Let the married couple decide for themselves.

BUT if married couple so aspire to have children, there is always the right time after marriage. Y S has seen friends who postponed having children until it was too late. They CANNOT have them anymore. There are those who have them too late, and they can no longer ride the roller coaster with their children or they are embarrassingly asked, "Is this your grandchild?"

So, Y S' favourite answer to the question : " When are you becoming a grandfather? " is " Why ask me? Ask them."