.... of funeral wakes

Remembering Y S' mother's funeral.
" Had I visited her enough when she was aged and sick ???"

Yours Sincerely ( Y S ) is amazed by the trouble people take to attend the wake of a relative or friend, not to mention a family member. Some rush from very far to be at the wake or funeral. At some wakes, Y S attended and observed lots of custom, traditions, religiosity and observances, and also gaiety ! Dirth and mirth seems to mix fairly well.

These days, the funeral wakes come in several packages with differing costs and types of services and products. The more high end canopies come in white and full of ribbons and laces to hide away rough edges and rusted metals. The in-thing is, of course, the air-conditioner. The lower end comes with air cool sprinklers, and the budget one is fans. Gone are the days when the free drabby khaki lorry canopy was used. Sometimes without the announcement scrolls hung at the canopy, you wonder whether it is mirth or dearth ! The colours usually associated with death is now camouflaged. Death as Shakespeare puts it is indeed " sweet sorrow." ( Romeo & Juliet. I hope I remember it right.)

The chairs at the high end wake are dressed in white and ribboned. The cheaper ones are the common plastic chairs, and the free ones are the rusty, old foldable ( usually blue in colour) ones borrowed from the Chinese association or clan in town. There is still no equality in death. Ya?

The menu during the wakes also range with the cost. There is always a variety of mass fried noodles and porridge, and free flow of Chinese tea, coffee, tea and bottled water. Whatever food is offered, there must be a free flow of groundnuts ! At some wakes, cigarettes and beer are freely offered and freeloaders have their hey days. The servers are always busy serving hard because their work ends when the food finishes. LOL

Y S also observes that "mahjong," card games and gambling of sorts are carried out until the wee hours of the morning. The din is unceasing and is comparable to that of the wet market. Many catch up with old friend and relatives, and there is lots of chit-chatting. These activities are carried out vis-a-vis the prayers and chantings, cymbals and gongs of the Taoist priests and mourners. Sorrow and joy seem to co-exist peacefully, so going for such a wake, you don't know whether to be sorrowful or joyful. These mambo jumbo can go on for many nights, especially for the richer deceased.

Such practices and observances are good as they keep the community vibrant, strong and united. The practice of giving cash offering, commonly called " White Gold" for the deceased's expenditure in the after-world also serves a good function in helping the less well to do families to off set the funeral expenditure.

However, Y S thinks that the wakes are really for the living. The dead is dead not matter how lavish is the wake and how elaborate is the funeral, or how much prayers and masses are offered for him / her. If such a big celebration is organised for the deceased when he was living, he would be on cloud nine !

The point Y S is driving at is to do what you want to do to anyone when he / she is alive. When he is dead and gone, there is nothing much we can do, except those things that would ease our conscience to make us feel good, or that we are filial children. "Ho ! So and so spent so much and so much for his father's funeral ! "

If you think of your parents, visit them. If you remember a friend / classmate, pay him / her a visit. If you recall a colleague, invite him / her out for a meal. If you think of someone who has made a difference in your life and you cannot visit him / her, give him / her a call, send an email or an SMS.

Follow NIKE, " just do it." Don't wait until the person's funeral !

.... of Optimism and Pessimism

This photo was shot when the dark rain bearing clouds were descending on Tongle Sap in Cambodia. The rain renews life in the lake, extending its frontier, revitilizing aquatic lives and refreshes the water.

According to Corrie Ten Boom, if a bird is flying for pleasure, it flies with the wind, but if it meets danger it turns and faces the wind, in order that it may rise higher. Kites also rise the highest against the wind and not to mention, airplanes take off against the wind, not with it. As they say, some see the hole in the donut and others the ring.

When confronted with a Goliath-sized problem, which way do you respond : " He's too big to hit" or like David, "He's too big to miss ?"

Yours Sincerely ( Y S ) has been dragging on with the baggage of pessimisms all along his life. Y S is always prepared for the worse, the very, very worst. If the car could carry 2 spare wheels, Y S would carry them. If RM1.00 is enough, Y S would carry RM2 or RM3, just in case. And living with " in case" is very heavy and draggy. Looking at the black side of life wouldn't not disappoint Y S, and he would be cheerful if it doesn't work out. So, Y S could call himself a "cheerful pessimist." But not anymore.

As life is at the threshold of 60 years, a reorientation in one's outlook is a blessing. To be able to see things more clearly or as they should be viewed. According to Albert Schweitzer, " An optimist is a person who sees a green light everywhere, while a pessimist sees only the stoplight. THE TRULY WISE PERSON IS COLOUR-BLIND. "

Tomorrow is not another day but another chance. The night has fallen, no doubt, but morning will soon come. Optimists are possibilitarians .No matter how dark things seem to be or actually are, they raise their sight and see the possibilities and they always see them because they are always there. " The pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunities, the optimist sees the opportunities in every difficulties." Winston Churchill. Remember that the same sun that melts butter also harden the clay.

However, an optimist may be wrong as often as the pessimist, but he has a lot more fun anyway. So, the optimist laughs to forget BUT the pessimist forgets to laugh.

... of the rich and the poor

A floating village. Houses on bamboo rafts. This one even has potted flowers for decoration.
This is a Catholic Church and is adjoined by a school for the floating children.
A school for the floating kids of the floating villages.
This is a gathering points for the floating villagers. On the day Y S visited an organization came to distribute some handouts.

Y S noted a lop sided demography where there are many adults, aged and young children. The youths have moved to the cities for employment.

Have a basin can travel. Danger? What danger when you are born in the midst of danger.

Do these kids have a future ? Are their parents worried about their future? " Do they go for tuition classes?" " Ballet classes?" "Piano lessons?" " Mental Arithmetic classes?" DO THEY HAVE ENOUGH TO EAT? This is a realistic question.
Note a pig farm on a raft.

This is home for the floating people on Tongle Sap.


Yours Sincerely visited Tongle Sap, a great versatile lake in Cambodia, which expands and shrinks according to the season. Here you can see several crowded floating villages with houses of many shapes and sizes, shops of sorts, a Catholic Church, two schools on rafts, several fish and pig farms, and lots of POVERTY.


Life when lived at survival level is very basic and simple. There are very few needs and almost no wants. Surviving from "hand to mouth" makes life very plain and Y S asks himself whether life is intended to be such !

The inhabitants have no permanent address and their floating houses moves about according to the level of the water in the lake. It seems that the schools and shops also moves up or down the lake accordingly. There is no water bills to pay and bed time follows the sun.

From the noise and faces Y S observed at one gathering point for the inhabitants, they were oblivious to the tourists' presence and conducted their lives as usual. " Are they happy and contented?" When life is emptied of wants, there are in fact few needs. Perhaps the real measure of your wealth is how much you would be worth if you lost all your wealth ! Sometimes adversity makes a man, and prosperity makes monsters.


This is a mini bridge that joins Canada and U.S.A.

A giant castle on one of the Thousand islands. Only occupied in summer when the owner comes for his holidays.
These are all individually owned houses which are practically empty most of the time.

On the contrary, Y S was at "Thousand islands" that straddles the US and Canadian border on the St Lawrence River.. Here you can be amazed by the huge gigantic private mansions and castles of the super rich, all built on individually owned islands of all sizes. There is a myriad of architectural wonders which baffles the mind, not so much on the construction technology but rather on the immense wealth the owners possess ! It seems that each property has its own "Indah Water" / waste disposal facility. It has to be contained and transported to the mainland to be discarded. You can imagine the cost !

To signify Y S' comparison to the floating "huts" and "coops" on Tongle Sap, these mansions and castles are only used as get-away summer homes once a year !!! Sometimes, wealth exalts and poverty downgrades a man by three degrees !!! Poverty is no sin and the poor may sleep soundly but still being poor can be terribly inconvenient!!!

What a world we live in ? The rich man worries over his last meal and the poor over where his next meal to come.

Y S is contemplating voluntary work in Cambodia.

.... of a Birdie!

Today is a day to be celebrated !

Yours Sincerely ( Y S ) was golfing at Permaipura Golf Course near Bedong and this is the first time Y S hit a birdie from 150 meters with an Iron 5. It is a stroke to be cherished. Don't ask Y S how he did it , and neither could he do it again.

Practice is the best of all instructors. And practice does not make perfect; perfect practice makes perfect.

The birdie makes my day !!!

...... of "Dato Kong"

Yours Sincerely ( Y S ) is by nature very observant, and being observant, one cannot help noticing things. To the left of the main road by the side of Y S' house stands a shrine. It used to be a very samll one with just an urn of joss sticks and a plague identifying the "saint" as a "Dato Kong", simply translated as " Great Great Grand Father."

Of late a number of devotees are seen praying at this shrine. The site is kept clean. Once a year, a tent would be erected at the site and a feast is held in honour of the "Dato Kong." Some superstitious people driving by would clapse their hand in prayers respecting the shrine.

It did not dawn on Y S that this particular shrine is dedicated to a Muslim "Dato Kong" until a notice specifying the fasting times and prayer times at this shrine. Wow, what a great country we live in. This is 1Malaysia of the most unique kind. We can live together if we can accept one another at face value, and not be manipulated by those who seek to benefit from our disunity.

So, look around your neighbourhood. There are interesting things to discover.

.... of life and work

Two years and 4 months down the road of retirement, Yours Sincerely ( Y S ) has still been bombarded with the exclamatory questions in the Chinese Hokkien dialect : " Bor Choe kang ?" ( Are you not working? ), " Bo kang choe? " ( No work ? ) , " Mai choe kang ? " (Don't want to work? ), and " Mien Choe Kang? " ( No need to work? ) To the China man, life is work. And if you turn the other round, work is life! Both sides of the same coin. And also both words are 4-lettered !

When you are confronted with "Are you not working?" the questioner sort of expects you to work and not laze around or rather you are still too young to retire.

If you are asked " No work ?", the inquirer seems to be sympathetic with you that the economic downturn has caused so many to be unemployed and that includes you !

"Don't want to work?" implies that you are a lazy bone and refuse to work !!!

In fact, " No need to work ! " is Y S usual answer and you can readily expect the next very bold and odd question which any westerner would NEVER dare ask, " How much pension do you draw???" To this Y S would answer, if I don't have enough I will borrow from you !!!

Many more good meaning friends would also volunteer advice. These are among the many Y S received :-

" Ai yo,.... you have to do something. It is very boring sitting at home."

" You MUST do something to keep your brain active or else you get Alzheimer ( This is a dirty word among retirees.) !.

" You are still young, don't waste your time ! "

" My uncle retired several years ago, did nothing and died at 60 from a stroke ."

" Keep your brain active, play mahjong, or else your brain cells will die."

And the list goes on.

There are a few local private schools which pay retirees a stipend, thinking that these people are already receiving their pension. Many a retired teacher would make a beeline to such schools begging to be taken in as if there is no life in their retirement

Enjoy life. There's plenty of time to be dead. Retirement could be the best thing that happens to you. Live on.

..... of Dolly Parton "Pau"

Off the highways, Yours Sincerely ( Y S ) through the recommendation of a fellow blogger "Random Shot " @ http://amelia7.blogspot.com (do pay a visit to this blog, you will continue visiting after that) there are things to discover. We are so caught up with time constraint and speed that we lock ourselves from one toll booth to another and lose experiencing all the goodies the trunk roads have to offer. If you keep yourself on the highways you can only eat "nasi lemak" and "teh tarik." Be adventurous, take time and discover new things.

Y S golfed at Putra Golf Course, Kangar last week and remembered a recommendation by Random Shot. This special "Pau" ( ..er...... the Chinese version of BIG Mac) found at Kaki Bukit which is about 24 KM from Kangar. This a quaint small town which grew from the Emergency New Village set up in the 1940s and is full of Hakka speaking Chinese whose parents were rubber tappers and orchard owners.

So, Y S phoned up to book a number and made a beeline to the shop after golfing. Y S' golfer friends were astonished by the size of the "Pau" and as men were men and are still men, they Christianized the "Pau" as " Dolly Parton Pau." See for yourself !