.... of saying " NO "

Yours Sincerely ( Y S ) was not brought up to say "NO" to any requests asked of him. There had been requests which Y S sincerely could not fulfill but yet Y S agreed and then coughed and puffed trying to fulfill them. These misadventures had caused lots of stress and unnecessary tension in his life. Even when Y S was working often he stood up for his colleagues and went to the extremes to make colleagues happy.

As a fellow sojourner in the local church, Y S had ( Note the past tense used ) never said "NO" to any request made by the priests to the point of willing to sail into troubled waters where angels feared to tread in the Diocesan Pastoral Team ( The Bishop's Think Tank ) of the Penang Diocese. Y S survived " some beatings and tongue lashings " from the priests who feel that they are above reproaches and are very unteachable.

In the days of old ( just two months ago) Y S would say "yes" and then only think of ways and means to do it. When It was beyond his capacity, Y S even went to the extent to recruit others who had the knowledge and talent and worked together with them. NOT ANY MORE. The first "NO" Y S said was about two months ago.

The Parish Priest phoned Y S to represent the Catholics of Kedah to sit in the MCCBHT ( I hope I get it right. It is the Malaysian joint body of Buddhist, Christians, Catholics, Hindu, Taoist, Bahais etc etc etc and what have you) . You don't make someone a sacrificial lamb and land such a big duty on him by just phoning and without any guidelines and references.

Y S sniffed shirking of official duty. The body as all Malaysians know is represented by " high and higher" priests of sorts and Christians leaders with titles of "Rev so and so," Father so and so ," and "Swami what and what." It is like asking Y S to talk theology with the Dalai Lama, Pope, Billy Graham, Swami .. something ...something. Y S braved out the word " NO " and felt so nice about it. From that day the Parish Priest does not greed him in church anymore. This is the way of life even in churchy circle. You are a good sheep if you follow order but a bad one if you don't. But it is nice to be a bad one if you are right.

The moral of the story : learn to say "NO" if you really cannot assume the request. Y S is still feeling good about the first " NO " he uttered.

.... of change and the need to change for the better

The transformation of Puduraya Bus Terminal.

When Yours Sincerely ( Y S ) was a student, going to Kuala Lumpur ( K L ) from Pasir Puteh, Kelantan was by Mara Express Bus. This bus would stopped at the Puduraya Bus Terminal in the wee hours of the morning. Having no friends, kiths and kins in K L , Y S had to wait for the sun to rise before he could go about conducting his business. The old Puduraya Bus Terminal was dirty, polluted, stinky, unsightly, dangerous, crowded, messy and all the negative adjectives you could think of. It has recently been resurrected to be a first world bus terminal as you can see in the photos.

The moral of it is that a place can go through such transformation, can human nature do so ? Many a time, people commented that they were born and bred that way and there is no way they can change come what may ! " I am like that already " is a common statement.

There was a young female teacher whom Y S observed in a staff development session who spoke in hardly audible voice to a huge class of 45 students. When gently commented, she replied that she had used the maximum volume God had given her. Until today her pupils have to strain their ears to hear her. If the young feel that they cannot change then the older ones would feel hardened and fossilized.

Y S remembers his late 3rd sister who kept on to one fashion of dressing for all her life. The good lady had never tried blue jeans, pants or shorts. Some would never venture to try food cooked by other cultures but stick to their palate all their lives even when they are overseas. Y S has a friend who is still driving his 35 year old Mazda car ( The company had since defunct for years) , not so much for its antique value but rather his unchangeable human nature.

There are also friends who do not change their negative , quarrelsome, hot headed, selfish, unsavory, strongly opinionated, unforgiving and repulsive behaviors and mannerisms all these years. Many sadly carried them to their graves and were thorns in the flesh of many people when they lived.

Y S believes we must not only change but be prepared for changes. Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe once said that " Life belongs to the living, and he who lives must change and be prepared for changes." (Darkened words are Y S ' ) That is to change within us and also respond to the changes around us. If we don't change, we don't grow. If we don't grow, we aren't really living.

In the final analysis, it is important to remember that we cannot become what we need to be by remaining what we are. Change is inevitable if we are still above the ground.

Yours Sincerely observes that the Chinese Malaysians have a peculiar habit of "belanja" or treating friends or paying up friend's bills in eating shops. There are several types of encouters of this nature:-

The first is not the prearranged type but rather impromptu as when you happen to be at the same place and at the same time with him. He has finished his meal, stood up, called for the bill and gestured to the cashier to also include what you are eating in his bill. When you have finished eating you get the "pleasant" surprise of discovering that it has been paid for you.

The second is when a few of you decide to have a meal together and walk into an eating shop. After the feasting and when it is about time to leave, you call for the bill. And when the bill arrives, there begins a tussle to foot it. Sometimes, the tussle can be embarrassing and the more insistent one or the one who is holding up a bigger note wins the day.

At other time, while your bill is being mentally calculated by the cashier, everyone digs into his pockets, and indicates that he wants to pay. In this situation, you may find that the bill is jacked up because the owner of the establishment knows well that no one is going to itemize the bill, and you end up paying more ! How silly!

Of course, there are the free loader or the free " luncher " who always seems to lose in the battle to pay by either :-0

i. Being to slow to produce their wallet and money
ii. Producing small notes by sheer "bad arithmetic"
iii. OR always seem to visit the toilet at the right time when the bill comes. LOL

While such "custom" or unwritten ethics may be good, it can be embarrassing especially when you do not bring enough cash since you do not expect to meet friends. However, to be on the safe side, and since living in a small town, Y S always ensures that he carries a bit extra just in case an impromptu situation arises.

However, many a time, Y S was proud of himself when his former students who are now working or having successful businesses insist that they want to treat their teacher. These former students always make my day, not so much for the free meal but the APPRECIATION that they show. After all what else can a retired teacher delight in ???

...... of cheese cakes

Cheese cake is something Yours Sincerely ( Y S ), in a manner of speaking, would die for. It has a certain aroma, texture and taste that can only be appreciated by those who have a passion for it and have cultivated and acquired its taste.

Y S is blessed to have a golfer friend who is seriously into cheese cake baking. He is a very adventurous baker and has experimented his cheese cake with orange, durian, green tea, "Kalua" coffee liquor, pineapple and his latest is Kiwi fruit. And for all his experiments, Y S gets to taste them because Y S is called upon to give his expert "critical assessment and evaluation" after every sampling.


This is Andrew Zibberman. "If it looks good... EAT It !!!"



Anthony Biourdain. " I don't know what I'm doing ( his job) ...but heck... I love it."

And only now, Y S realizes that people like " Anthony Bourdain'" "Andrew Zibberman" and other travel and eating personnels of the "Travel n Living" programme have a splendid career. They simple travel and eat. Perhaps Y S will be one of them in his next life!

The latest Y S sampled was the Kiwi Fruit Cheese Cake.

The following is a sample comment :-

" Excellent foundation and presentation. Perfect base made of crust cereal which is of the right thickness and does not crumble when sawn through by the spoon. Excellent texture that is smooth and sufficiently creamy to melt in the mouth. The slight sourish hallmark of cheese cake is soothingly and evenly present and not over-powering. The Kiwi fruit puree topping does its job perfectly well and enhances the taste. The scatter of sliced almonds titillate the taste buds as you chew on them. Grade : A "

Baking cheese cake takes time since it also needs grilling and refrigeration. Inspired by this friend, Y S took out his Better Half's baking book and turned to the pages on Cheese Cake. After reading the procedure, Y S put the book back safely on the book shelf. Perhaps what makes Y S' friend's baking superb is a special ingredient - love. He loves his hobby and shares his labour of love with his friends.

Anyone for cheese cake?

...... of Y S ' leather belt.

S
One strange thing about men when it comes to fashion is that most of us really do not care. Of course, there is a sizable fast lane and cool male homosapiens who move with fashion. The majority, Yours Sincerely ( Y S ) thinks , does not bother about the changing trends in clothes, shoes , hair-styles and other accessories like watches, glasses, belts, wallets etc. ( Besides, cars, of course) If they are caught with the latest fashion, it is because their favorites are already out of production ! One good example is glasses frames. You have to move on. The opticians do not stock old models.

This morning Y S took a hard look at his aging leather belt, a "Mustang" which gave way due to leather fatigue. It is about 18 years old !!! ( Y S pities the factory that makes good belts like this and wonders how it could survive, making such long lasting good quality product!!! ) It was bought in 1990s when Y S looked good in blue faded jeans but not now. The belt stays on with Y S' other pants because it simply refused to "break down" so that was no good reason why it should be discarded. Moreover, as the years rolled by it gathered lots of sentimental value. It had gone on globe trotting with Y S and its metal buckle had triggered many a security censor at the various airports Y S passed through and was ogled at by many an immigration offer.

A strange about fashion is that to the male homo sapiens, we are proud and we show off our long lasting things. Shirts that last a decade. Pants that are still wearable after 10 years. Shoes that do not seem to wear off, 5 solid years and are still good. Wallets that seem to last an eternity.

I don't think the fairer sex would parade such possessions. More often than not, their desire is to make known that whatever they adorn and use are the latest. The more sophisticated would not even shop at sales, fearing to be seen in their duplicates. For this reason, owners of boutiques are laughing their way to the bank.

Even to be seen in the same dress for another function is a disaster ! Not even in the same dress as their fellow colleague. There was an occasion when a collegue rushed home to change her clothes because another colleague adorned the same fashion of dress and in the same colour. She swore not to buy at sales anymore. It is a taboo !!!

Coming back to Y S' belt, Y S thinks it needs to be taken to the cobbler to be given some stitches here and there and a new lease of life.

They don't make things to last anymore these days.

......... of idiots in abundance

This is a news report from The Star of 24th June 2011:-

" In an unrelated case, several people in the state had fallen victim to a 4-D scam purportedly run by Indonesians.

It is learnt the foreigners would go around the city showing their victims what were supposed to be winning lottery tickets and offering these for sale at a much lower price.

Claiming that they could not redeem the tickets because they did not have valid documents, the foreigners would even ask for jewellery or other valuables in exchange.

In a recent case, a cook in his 20s, lost almost RM16,000 to such a syndicate, which had offered him a “winning” lottery ticket for RM80,000.

The cook, who met the foreigner along Jalan Wong Ah Fook, only realised that he had been cheated when he went to claim his prize money and was told that the tickets were fake.

Police confirmed they had received reports on both cases. "

On and off Yours Sincerely ( Y S ) reads and scoffs at such news. This is the new millennium and the "Cyber Age" and yet we have people walking around with cave man brain, thinking that it is that easy to make a fast buck these days.

Y S was brought up by his "China man immigrant father who came to this glorious land with only two changes of clothes" that life has absolutely NO freebies or free lunches ( Besides at the Salvation Army, and even there if you eat for too long your soul will be salvaged.) This adage has been imprinted in Y S ' children. Hard work, grit, grime and sweat, and brain is the surest way.

Even in Y S ' "city" of Alor Star, he has been approached and offered "ROLEX" watches for half price ! Singapore dollars for a rebate of 20 to 40 % below market rate! Mercedes for 40% below market value! Well, if even a million is brought to the foot step of Y S' humble home for FREE, Y S would doubt the intention. It is better to be a million ringgit poorer than to have a million sleepless nights and troubles!!!

The world seems to have a good number of idiots, and the other half of people clever enough to take advantage of them. Never underestimate the power of human stupidity. Nothing in this world is more dangerous than conscientious stupidity. They say that only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and Albert Einstein is unsure about the former and so is Y S.

The bottom line of all is, of course, GREED. The rich wants to become richer, and the richer want to be the richest. And the richest want some more and some more, failing to know that finally all that one needs is " 6 x 6 x 4 " underground. The first emperor of China, Shih Huang Ti, of course, had a super large tomb. See what happens? Until today archeologists do not let him rest him peace. They are digging and digging into his tomb. Do you think he can rest in peace? For that matter, not even the Great Pharaohs of Egypt !!!

"Nothing is enough for the man for whom enough is so little." Epicurus. And the most grievous kind of destitution is to want more money in the midst of wealth.

To the cook who lost his RM16.000, we can only ask him to "Go and fly kite" !!!

What say you?

........ of punctuality

Your Sincerely ( Y S ) has been preoccupied with punctuality and being punctual for almost all his life, and for 36 years of his working life, HE WAS NEVER LATE FOR WORK !!! However, there was no citation for this when he retired. " The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it " ( Franklin Jones) Very few people seem to bother about the quality or habit of adhering to an appointed time. "Laugh and the world laughs with you, be prompt and you dine alone" (Gerald Barzan) Y S is not referring to the occasional lateness due to unforeseen circumstances but the habitual practice of being late due to lack of concern of being on time.

Have you observed that the Chinese wedding dinner reception never start on time. It is at least half an hour late, even though it is held at posh hotels where you can expect more polished guests ? Notwithstanding those held at clan and association or temple halls can be behind time for as much as an hour !!! Being a Chinese course dinner, everyone has to be seated before the serving can start. It is unlike the Malay "Kenduri (Wedding feast) buffet where the lunch hours is stretched very thin from 12 noon to as late as 6 p.m. Perhaps this is more practical, guests can pop in and out at anytime. Well, you can even pop in twice, one for lunch and another one for early dinner . LOL

What irks Y S more is that the late comers are not frown upon. It is accepted like a norm. The host seems to condone the late comers as if they are V.I.Ps. At Chinese wedding dinners some tables are reserved for them. They seem to get preferential treatment in full view of the punctual ones. Even in churches, habitual late comers park their vehicles indiscriminately and are lovingly ushered to vacant pews like V.I.Ps, and when the mass / service is over, they are the last to come out of the church. Thus, their vehicles block others.

In school, we have school prefects who have to sacrifice their lessons to wait at the school gate to "welcome" and record the names of the late comers. Some come to school on their own vehicles. And these late comers have no urgency. They stroll leisurely into the classes, interrupting the lessons.

I think the only time people are punctual is when they have to check into "Air Asia" counter at the airport. The one-hour check-in procedure has no compromise ! Another instance of real punctuality being practised in Malaysia that Y S observes is at the banks when new issue of "Amanah Saham Malaysia" ( Malaysia Trust Fund that promises good returns) are released. Some are overtly punctual and can queue at the bank door before dawn !!! Talking about banks, try to repay your bank loan by a day late and see what happens?

Lack of punctuality is a theft of someone else's time. Lack of punctuality is also the lack of respect for others. Y S has always made is a point to be at least 15 to 30 minute early for appointments, lunch, dinner, golf etc etc etc To be punctual is a decision. Get up earlier. Get off earlier. Get started faster. Of course, it is better late than never, but better never late is even better. " I have always been a quarter of an hour before my time, and it has made a man of me. " Lords Nelson.

Of course, the traffic always gets the blamed for causing unpunctuality, and when it rains then the weather gets the blame. Sometimes, it is the alarm clock but most of the time traffic jams. Y S has yet to come across a late comer who blames himself :-

" Oh, It is my fault. I dilly dally."
" I'm sorry. I'm a tardy person."
" Oh, I woke up and then went to sleep again."
" I dilly dally and started late."

Punctuality is a decision. When you decide to be punctual, you will think of ways and means to be punctual. What do you think?