Sunday, June 12, 2011

.... of grandpa and gandma

Yours Sincerely ( Y S ) was back at his hometown to attend a niece's wedding. So, it was also time to meet his kith and kins and friends. A very common inquiry in the midst of conversation in the company of these people is : " When are you becoming a grandfather? " It was quite sometime ago when Y S was asked, "When are you becoming a father?" To the latter question Y S could easily answer because he and the better half were responsible for the whole situation , but certainly not the former question. How is Y S going to know? How is Y S able to
know? What can Y S do??? It is out of Y S' jurisdiction!

To Y S' generation, those with married children, having grand children seems to be another important milestone in their lives after educating their children and sending off to universities. Many have exchanged their sunset years of relaxation and living our their dreams to repeating the changing of diapers, picking up after the child, making milk in the wee hours of the morning and baby sitting. A couple Y S knows once left the comfort of their home and familiarities to squat in a one room apartment overseas to help out baby sitting for their son. All these were done in the name of sacrifice. Y S only hopes that the children truly appreciate such sacrifice.

Nearer home, another MALE former colleague has practically turned back the clock of his life to baby sit for his daughter. He has shut himself from his friends and the activities he once loved to do. and devoted all his time to the granddaughter. Somehow he has turned himself into a wet nurse and nanny.

Meeting him once at Taman Lam Sun, he was pillion riding his granddaughter on a bicycle and he stopped to talk to Y S. He bored Y S to near death with tales about his granddaughter's achievements, the best baby formula, methods to arm up milk etc etc etc. Before Y S bade farewell, he coaxed his granddaughter to say, " Goodbye uncle." Somehow the small kid chickened out and there was deep disappointment on his face. Y S assured him not to worry the kid could say but was shy.

Children are, of course, the natural consequence of a marriage. However, they do not necessary come naturally. There are many who just cannot have children. There are also many who do not want children. Whatever the reason is, parents cannot be held responsible for the issue. Let the married couple decide for themselves.

BUT if married couple so aspire to have children, there is always the right time after marriage. Y S has seen friends who postponed having children until it was too late. They CANNOT have them anymore. There are those who have them too late, and they can no longer ride the roller coaster with their children or they are embarrassingly asked, "Is this your grandchild?"

So, Y S' favourite answer to the question : " When are you becoming a grandfather? " is " Why ask me? Ask them."

3 comments:

AJ7 said...

LOL! Today's generation is getting married later. Many of my friends' kids are getting married in their thirties.... then some still put off having kids cos they're not ready. Like you said, by the time they do have kids and the kids are old enough to ride a roller coaster, the parents tak larat naik with them.

Thomas C B Chua said...

AJ7, tks for visiting. It is a norm among my relatives to pop that question to me every time they see me as if I can make it happens. LOL

footiam said...

Yes. Ask them! But I think even they cannot give a definite answer. You can do all the planning but God will decide.