This is the resting place of yours sincerely's ( y s ) father at the "Tiger and Dragon Hill" on the way to Kuala Krai in Kelantan. He was an immigrant from the Fukien province of China. He came in his blue Chinaman's trousers and white Pagoda brand T-shirt, and a one-way ticket to make it or break it. Well-built, good looking, hardy, thrifty and industrious , and a sort of a rough diamond with a thunderous temper, he and my mum had raised the six of us. Alas! In his fifties, he had to fight teeth and nail with Cancer and lost to the latter.Yours sincerely had not been back for the Chinese All Souls' Day for 30 over years. He was caught up in the great issue of ancestral worship and Christianity. The extremists would even equate your mere presence as partaking and which they claim would cause others to stumble.
Coming of age, at 57, y s puts his foot down and draws a thick and bold line bewteen participating and attending. By all standards, y s would utterly fail the Confucian's filial piety test. Honestly speaking, the matter has always pricked my conscience. This year y s and his better half made a trip and it was rewarding. It was full attendance of the other siblings. We were accepted even as observers. It is a family institution in itself, bringing family members together at the very least once a year. The family, afterall, is also central in Christianity.
One of the gifts offered was packets of cigarrettes since he was a chain smoker when he was in this world.
This is the younger generation, the grand nephews and nieces, who are learning the custom to perpetuate it.
Everybody chipped in in whatever duty one could do. There was no complusion or ordering. Somehow you knew what you should do. This creates the bond and holds the family together.
Of course, the finale was a "Nasi Kerabu and Laksam" feast at a stall beside the Chung Cheng National-Type Chinese School at Jalan Kelocor (Kind of a funny name) . The "Nasi Kerabu" or "Cow Jump" (Btw no cow and no jumping) is healthily delicious. It is rice cooked in herbal juice and eaten with a variety of cut and chopped up vegetables, and also fried desicated coconut.It was a decision made in good judgement.
4 comments:
Haha ! glad you make it to the QingMing. The culture has changed ! It's not just all about praying and customs. It's about family reunion. Everyone bring along their own food, and the best part is cook or buy what you like to eat best. Of course, you have to serve the elderly first, the daddy. But after that, it's party time ! hehe..
1. It's ok mah for Christians to join along. After all it's just grave cleaning, and later do it individual's way.
2. You also hokkien huh ? This august, with God's willing I will be travelling alone to visit my grandad's homeland. I can only traced until Nan Ann. No idea which village. But that will be good enough.
3. Next time you visit KB, give me a call. I can buy you a cup of Cuppucino !
eh, eh.. photo no. 3, the lady in red. her husband is a teacher in SM Chung Cheng, right ?
KBguy, I don't want Cappucino, that's for the Italians. I go for "tuak" o la la, it is real refreshing!
Btw hope u r better physically
Thomas
At least you make the effort. Most Christians I know would not bother with even their own parents' Chinese graves and because it is a "Chinese-y" tradition.
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