..... of family feuds & Reconciliation

The Great Wall of China was built to keep Barbaric intruders away from the Middle Kingdom, China. Some family members also build Great wall to keep siblings out and away on many issues which could range from relationship problems, attitude problems, incompatibilities of all sorts, property distribution ( Some parents mistakenly left behind too much ! ) , the list is as unending as the fallen human nature.

But for siblings to fall out on very small, puny, minute, microscopic and trivial matters is very unfortunate and to some extent, cursed. "Only a mule denies his family." How could siblings be so unforgiving and irreconcilable when they are born of the same parents and had had shared the same womb ! Think of the years of growing up together, especially when one comes from a poor family. Y S cannot understand.

Some would rather carry their hatred and resentment to their graves. Very sad, indeed.

" It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend, or a sibling " William Blake. ( Words in red added by Y s ) Imagine how some people can flatter an occasional guest but deal a harsh blow on their own sibling.

Y S happened to chance upon this DVD from the younger daughter's collection. It is an educational story of an American-Chinese mother who is domineering and manipulative, nick named, " The Dragon lady" and is greatly disliked by her children. The estranged siblings, one brother and three sisters, have their own differences and are like cats and dogs. The only common things they share is their dislike for their mother.

The siblings have to undergo 7-day Chinese funeral wake for their mother. The 7 days was hell as they pick on each other and quarrel over almost everything from the funeral arrangement to funeral buffet for the guests. However, they are bent on giving their mother a respectable funeral. They are Chinese. As they go through the 7 days they discover skeletons hidden in the family closets; each other's secrets, weaknesses and strengths; and finally they could accept each other and bury their differences. They learn about themselves, each other and their mother, forgiveness and what is to be Chinese. They FORGIVE and RECONCILED.

What big issues cannot be reconciled? Even God forgives and sent His Son, Jesus Christ, to die for all on the cross and whoever believes onto Him will have life everlasting.

People say that forgiveness comes with a cost. Really ? Y S doesn't think so. Forgiveness comes with the willingness to do so and the humility to do it. It does not cost you anything but buy you everything - peace, tranquility, joyfulness and contentment.

However, forgiveness does not necessary lead to healed relationship. Some people are incapable of love and are very much inflated with egoism and the pride of life, so it might as well be wise to let them go along with their unforgiveness and resentment, and wish them well on their way.

Y S had played an intermediary role between two siblings. Y S managed to humbly persuade the elder sibling to forgive and reconcile with the younger sibling. Y S even assured the elder sibling of the ability of the younger sibling to forgive and reconcile since she comes from the First World and a more advanced country, and supposedly exposed to a more refined culture. To my utter regret ( and disgust) , the young sibling was on her high horse. The elder sibling's humility was taken as weakness and mistakes. The effort was despised. She was short of being run out of the house. The effort turned sour. The elder sister was "rehurt." But she managed to come out of it after some time. "Forgive them. They know not what they are doing" are the very words of Jesus Christ.


This is my beloved eldest and second sister after their reconciliation. This photo was taken during the first All Souls' Day after the demise of my mother. See they are so chummy, sharing food from the same plate. This is being sisterly. This is what sisters are supposed to be. Don't let the devil rob you off your siblings!

And the greatest thing of all is that THEY RECONCILED BEFORE THE DEMISE OF MY MOTHER. That was the greatest gift they gave to my mother. When we were at Mother's death bed, 30 of us, children, grandchildren and great grandchildren, my mother passed over with a smile. She was 92. Her family is reconciled and united.

And that is not only Chinese but also of every race on this earth. What Chinese after staying in the west can tell Y S that the family is unimportant ? " Only a mule denies his family."