Harsh reality of diocesan work

The battery in my retirement gold plated (cheap one) watch has run out. The retirement gifts positioned at different corners of the house have gathered some dust. Less and less phone calls and SMSes are coming in. It has been EIGHT months (Gosh, how time flies!) down the road of forced retirement (It is called " Pesaraan wajib"). Yours sincerely took a hard look at life ahead on the eve of 2009. Have I wasted the 8 months? Have anything worthwhile been accomplished? Have I contributed anything to humanity? Many questions played in my gray matter? Such thoughts always give me a feeling of forlorn.

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I had always wanted to do more for God. To contribute His given human ability to me to better and further His Kingdom. For that reason I eagerly accepted the offer to work for the Diocesan(Penang) Pastoral Team. It is a small team of 4 priests, 1 religious, 2 laity and the Bishop. It is supposed to be the Think Tank for the Bishop. I went for the first meeting, after researching "Pastoral Teams" of all other dioceses and denominations, full of jest to contribute. Little did I realise that I had sailed into troubled waters where angels fear to tread.

And harsh realities set in when I was asked to work on the Diocesan BEC census and to give a presentation on it. The input took me and my friend many hours of eye straining efforts peering into the computer screen. It was a labour of love. We wanted to come out with one soft ware that is workable programme for the needs of the diocese. The software went through many sessions of trial run until we felt that it was fine. To the computer illiterates, which I discover form most of our beloved priests in the Penang Diocese, computer soft wares drop down from heaven like Manna!

Labourious efforts are most of the time not appreciated at all. On the day of the presentation to the priestly meeting ( which composed of all the priests in the Penang Diocese), the response was bordering hostility.

HERE IS A LAYMAN WHO WANTED TO HELP THE DIOCESE ( MEANING TO HELP THE BISHOP AND PRIESTS AND FOR THE GLORY OF GOD) TO COME OUT WITH A CREDIBLE AND RELIABLE DIOCESAN BEC CENSUS FOR US TO KNOW OUR DEMOGRAPHY WAS 'SHOT' BY HIS VERY OWN SHEPHERD!!!

Emphatise with me, I provide you with a dialogue , verbatim, during question time.

Priest X : I have a better software that yours.

Yours sincerely (Ys) : Revered Father, can we merge your software with mine?

Priest X : Mine is copyrighted.

(What about all the preaching about sharing from the pulpit?!)

Ys : In that case, can we just have your parish data to merge with the diocesan data?

Priest X : I HAVE TO EDUCATE YOU that our data is confidential.........

( Yours sincerely feels that there is no necessity to use such a strong word to put him down. Yours sincerely had never met such type of person, especially in priestly cassocks. We are living in the 21 century and not in Medieval Time. Most sheep are educated these days. Some are better educated, more widely read, better brought up and most of all conduct themselves more human-like than their shepherds ! )

If his parish data is confidential and cannot be merged with the diocesan data, then I think he is running his own parish and also his own diocesan. He is a "bishop" in his own right. ( Pathetic!)

Of course, there were other unintelligible comments :

1. My parish has no computer ! (So, pitiful for not keep up with the world.)
2. I don't know anything about computers! (Too self sufficient. )
3. This cannot work in my parish. ( Typical of some of my negative colleagues in school.
" Everything cannot one " because some extra work is involved.)
4. We have done it already but has no data. (What bullshit! Trying to wriggle away.)
5. My parish has so many new housing estates, how to get data on them. (that is your work lor!)
6. etc...etc....etc...

I have nothing against the comments but felt sorry for those who made them. I personally felt down trodden that they exist in ecclesial organisation which I used to uphold highly and adored, and longed to humbly play a wee small part. My ideals have been crashed and shattered.

Even when the presentation was going on, one shepherd, in particular, was "sodukuing" (Soduku) away. I used to catch my staff reading newspapers and smsing away at staff meetings but this was a priestly meeting. LOL

Down the road, yours sincerely has been licking and nursing his wounds of uncalled for insults like a rabid dog, especially from one of his shepherds who "wanted to educate him." LOL

Why should I sail into troubled waters after having just sailed out of one that put food on the table for my children?

So, I have decided to leave heavenly work to the priestly, and to reconcile myself to be a dumb, docile and "uneducated" sheep befitting only mundane work on earth. (Sigh! It is hard to live our so called Christian vocation.)

I am worried that I have also started to doubt the sermons given from the pulpits. Are they well-intentioned ? Truthful? Sincere? Or just, plain burdens put on me and merely "talk the talk and not walk the talk" or what the Kelantan Malays say, "Kaechet sedap mulut sajo." (Plain talk only and no action.) I say, but you do.

Of course, I cannot and God forbids, that I throw in my towel altogether. I will continue to serve at parish level only. My prayer was favoured by the Almighty, Al........ oops cannot use that word.... . Attached see a BEC gathering at my humble abode. It is the first one for 2009. 90% attendance. That made my day . Glory be to God.

More pictures of the Holy Land

This cold, grotesque, gray wall put up by the authorities separates and regulates the populace. The many graffiti on the walls show the people's feeling about the authority.










This is the Lion Gate to enter into Jerusalem. It is also called St Stephen's Gate. St Stephen was dragged out of this gate and stoned to death.













These are the steps leading to Caiphas' monumental mansion. These very steps were taken by Christ when he was brought to Pontius Pilate to be sentenced.













One of the alleys leading to the Lion's Gate inside Jerusalem. The shops were not yet opened when we walked the "Way of the Cross." We were there before 7 am.

It will be very crowded when the city is up and about. You will be harassed by the vendors.









This is the Damascus Gate. The most picturesque of all the gates. (Sorrry from the reflection. It is the coach's rear mirror.)














This is the Garden of Gethsemane .The twisting and twining of the olive trees give a sad, forlorn and humbling feeling. You can imagine Christ's agony.












This is another view of Jerusalem from Mt Olive. The dark dome is the Al-aksa Mosque.













This is the long walk up the Orthodox Church's monastery.














One of the caves at Qumran where the Dead Sea Scrolls were found, very desolated and barren place.













Our pilgrimage group making our way on "St Peter's boat" from Tiberias to Capernaum.

Can you spot yours sincerely and wife?
















This is the Jordan Valley, green and well cultivated. A land flows with "milk and honey."

This is ruins of a synagogue at Capernaun which could have been the one where Christ stood up and taught at.

This is the well of St Mary. It used to be the village well and also a women's institution where women of the village met and caught up with the latest news and "gossips."

This is the top portion of the Church of Nativity. Built by St Helena, Emperor Constantine's mother.
This is view of the town of Bethlehem, shot from the Bethlehem Hotel, our first stop after a long flight from KLIA, transitting at Tashkent, Ubzekisthan.

It's CHRISTmas again........2008....

It's CHRISTmas again. It has been another bonus year given by the Almighty. Yours sincerely always consider every Christmas a bonus for another year which we miserable humankind have undeservingly been granted with to make amends, repair and straighten our lives and make this world a better place to live in.

Anyway, when it is Christmas, one must put up the Christmas tree. In the good old days when the children were young, the better half and I had to drive all the way to Gama Supermarket in Penang to get one. Decorating the tree was then the girls' passion. The plastic tree had to bear with so many ornaments and twisted with many more twinkling coloured bulbs. The putting up of the tree was somewhat ritual like. It was, of course, done with much happiness and joy. Colourful wrapped presents with notes for designated receivers ( I always love the ones written my elder daughter and through the years I know she meant what she wrote) were placed under the tree and the girls gleefully waited for the moment to open them. The moment was usually after our attendance at the midnight Christmas mass. Then, the "oooo" and "aaaa" and "thank you papa" and "thank you mama." CHRISTmas is family.

So, the tree proudly stood at a strategic corner of the living room, absorbing glances, observations and praises from guests. It stood there through the New Year and Chinese New Year. It somehow gathered a bit of house dust. No one remembered to switch on the lights anymore. By then Christmas was long gone. And the taking down , as you would have guessed it, had always been the father's job! Anyway, it was fun, bonding and "family." BUT NOW, THE CHILDREN HAVE GROWN UP AND WE, THE PARENTS ARE GETTING ON IN AGE,SO OUR CHRISTMAS TREE LOOKS LIKE THIS NOW ............


It is a boring, plastic, DIY, fibre opic tree that cannot be dressed, just plug into an electricity source. It is hitec but devoid of the warmth from the children's touch. Oh! How I miss the good old tree even though I had to take it down. Well, the moral of the story is that when you have the chance to be a "family", make time, take the trouble, enjoy each other's company, bond............. Things cannnot be the same forever. Children grow up and out of the home. One of the spouses might be called Home ........

Anyway, CHRISTmas is giving. The gift part is still maintained. It is still after the midnight mass. So, we exchanged gifts and opened them but without the elder daughter and her spouse this year. It is not the same as yesteryears.This is what Esther, the younger daughter gets.(See pic) She is loveable and appreciates any thing you get for her. She has even "prebought" a Nokia and debited her mum's account for another of her very early Christmas present. "I have to keep in touch with you fellas in A Star." Her reason.

The climax of the Christmas gift opening ritual and to put some life and fun into our 30 over years of this partnership of living together which civilization calls "marriage" , mind you, many such partnerships have gone desert dry and the partners are living cactus prickling existence. Still many partners are eyeing and peering at greener lawns. Well, yours sincerely always thinks that if you start to see greener lawns elsewhere, it was time you start watering and fertilizing yours. Put some life and fun in your partnership. So, the better half's Christmas present is a sexy lingerie (Hope she can still get into it.) with a red, you can see what..... She was gleefully giggling away like when we were on our first date, years ago! "PAPA, wha- lah you like ths one?" was the younger daughter's comment with a blushed face. It was fun to watch their reaction.

You can imagine how the salesgirls and the cashiers at the checkout counter of the women's section stared at me and what they would have thought of me ($%^&*) when I was paying for the purchase, not to mention the other ladies in the queue.

CHRISTmas is for everyone. So, have a blessed and glorious CHRISTmas and all the days that follow. Keep your hope high. Get angry less. Smile more. Forgive the most.

The world is meant to be shared. It has enough for all our needs and NOT greed. Carpe diem.

Our Pilgrimage

Yours sincerely and the better half had been favoured with a pilgrimage to the Holy Lands - Jerusalem, Bethlehem, Caesarea, Tiberias, Cana, Nazareth, Capernaum, Mt of Beautides, Tabgha, Mt Tabor, Jordan valley, Jericho, The Dead Sea, Bethany, Gethsemane, Kidron Valley, Mt Zion, Ein Karim and Emmaus. It was a pilgrimage in the footsteps of Jesus Christ, from his birth to crucifixion and resurrection. It was a spiritual journey with lots of prayers and masses. Did I grow wings and halo on the return journey? No. But I was imbued with a deep realisation of God's love for me and my inadequacies . My life wish of viewing the ancient, biblical and walled city of Jerusalem from Mt Olives was granted. It is messily awesome and precariously peaceful. A city that has seen many, many wars. A city destroyed and rebuilt many, many times. A city which so many religions are laying claims on. A city that now belongs to so many religions. May the peace of the Almighty God reign over it.

This is the Sea of Galilee which is teeming with St Peter's fish. We went in a fishing boat very much alike those used by St Peter and Christ Himself when he preached from the boat along the shore of the Sea of Galilee. The weather was fine and the sea was kind, no waves that upset your stomach. Sea gulls swooped down to be fed from your hands. It is awesome to think that the disciples saw Christ walking on it!

Later in the evening we had fried St Peter's fish
for dinner. It turned out to be "Tilapia" fish and very much alike the ones I used to rear in my aquarium. I could not finish my dinner.

The Catholic Church at Cana is also called the Wedding Church. It is here Christ performed His first miracle of turning water into wine. Here pilgrim couples usually exchange their marriage vow again. Yours sincerely felt very uncomfortable exchanging his wedding vow again, afterall the one he exchanged 32 over years ago is still valid and not yet expired. Anyway, so as not to incur the wrath of the better half as "Hell knows no fury like a woman's scorn", yours sincerely thought well what damage could it probably do. But, for failing to do it, I may not get my laundry done. I may not get my 3 hot square meals. Not to mention having to sleep on the couch in the hall ! Anyway, I have to admit that it was very romantic. A Franciscan nun played the wedding march as we walked down the isle and Rev Jude Miranda made us look into the eyes of the beholder when we uttered our vows. "Geli" lor !

There are many churches of 50 or 70 years old built over biblical sites all over the Holy land. They did not struck me as hard as the Church of Nativity and the Church of the Holy Sepulchre for their age.

The Church of the nativity was built in 326 AD by the emperor Constantine and his mother, Helena, enclosing the Navity Grotto.

You can witness the age of the sites from the bricks, cobble stone pavement and the frescos inside the church.

I was also awed by the Nativity Grotto. This is the very spot where Christ was born.











We had a dip in the Dead sea which is the lowest point in the world. It sits at 400 metres below sea level. Mind, it is really salty. No living organisms can survive here. Don't ever get the sea water into your eyes. You will be temporarily sorely blinded. The ladies were busy digging into the mud at the sea bed to religiously rub on their freckles, ageing spots, pimples , wrinkles and God knows what with the hope of rejuvenating their looks! So, itwas also a physical pilgrimage. From what I observed, many were rejuvenated with sun burnt.

I enjoyed floating on the sea.



This the Quarum Valley where the Dead Sea Scrolls were found. A barren place as you can see. Excavation is still continuing.

( These are the few shots I can put on this blog.
Do visit me to talk about the place and view
more pictures.)

Shaggy found a home

Remember the adoption yours sincerely put up at "Petfinders," it is an excellent site for what its name claims. Serene from KL answered to the advert. Over the phone she sounded cheery, kind, caring and loveable. So, we made arrangement to meet. She came with her father (about my age and from the same university at about the same time. Humble and Friendly fella) and boyfriend.

If people are willing to drive 4 or 5 hours and pay tolls to pick up a pet in their brand new white leather seat Mercedes, I do not have to question their love for animals anymore. I am very sure Shaggy is in a loving family. They are Christians. My conscience rests peacefully. Live your new life Shaggy. Case closed.

Parish Assemblies and playing "KBC"

This is the Parish Assembly season in the Diocese of Penang where various parishes evaluate their events and activities for the year and see their Strenghts, Weaknesses, Opportunities and Threats, and then plan ahead for the following year. As a member of the DPT or rather Diocesan Pastoral Team or the Bishop's Think Tank, to impress you a bit, we are to drop in at various churches as observers to their assembly and to report to the DPT.

Well, it was an arduous but rewarding and enriching experience. I, not only observed a lot but also learnt from them, both negative and positive things. Of course, you cannot fall asleep during the long sessions which were normally held at ungodly hours and some in oven-like single storeyed classrooms like the one in St Louis in Taiping, for the simple reason that you will be called upon to round up the session. Those at the Risen Christ Sg Petani and Our Mother of Perpetual Help, Ipoh were blessed. Their halls are air-conditioned.

For those of you who are Catholics in the Penang Diocese and you care about your church, I can assure you that our churches are toeing the line and moving in the same direction guided by the Diocesan Pastoral Thrust, although at different speeds and with differrent gaits.

One glaring observation is the ageing element in most churches. Where are the young people? They are in the bigger towns and cities like the Klang Valley. So, for churches in the Klang valley to say that they have grown and bursting at the seams and with worshippers following the masses on the LCDs, a simple question begs asking : " Is your growth mainly through conversion or migration???"

Some pictures of the various assemblies for you to see.

Your heart is where your children are

It was KL again from 16 to 20 November to "Look Look and See See" on Esther at Bukit Jalil. Well, the apartment still stood there as usual. The floor was meticulously mopped and our bedroom spruced up. All done the nite before. So, thanks Esther. It was a good bonding trip. We got to meet up with Bert for lunch at a Nyonya outlet at Sri Petaling. As usual, he was busy. The wife and I managed to get around a bit this time with a modern invention - the GPS. So, for the first time we managed to get to Sg Long to visit Seng Kiat and managed to come back to Bukit Jalil without any u-turns or detours. Fantastic equipment..... 30 metres turn left, turn left...... infra red camera.... 80 KPH speed limit.............

For those who live away from your parents. One small secret to get your fridge loaded is to leave it empty when your parents visit you. They will be overwhelmingly sympathetic to you and will stock it up for you in no time. See, so easy one.